What would happen if Halo was a movie: maybe ‘Lazer Team’

How do you make a football movie for gamers?

Well, if you’re Rooster Teeth, add in aliens, explosions, lasers guns, fireworks, potty humor and Easter eggs.

The result is “Lazer Team,” an 102-minute end-of-the-world movie staring the unlikeliest squad of heroes: Officer Hagan (Burnie Burns), a washed-up high school fullback who ended up as a cop in his hometown; Hagan’s daughter’s boyfriend Zach (Michael Jones), a skinny sophomoric high school football star who thinks with his dick; Herman (Colton Dunn), a bitter invalid who has a grudge against Hagan; and Woody (Gavin Free), Herman’s friend who doesn’t think at all.

They’re the type of guys who stand still as the rest of the world moves on. They never really grew out of high school, and spend the consecutive days/months/years nursing their beer bellies and playing video games.

By sheer idiocy, these four screwballs manage to insert themselves into the livelihood of humankind, accidentally hijacking a secret government operation to defeat an impending alien threat.

And, well, it doesn’t go so well.

“Lazer Team” isn’t a great movie. It isn’t even a good movie. But it’s that kind of cult classic that people have and will rally behind.

Take for instance how it got started as the highest funded IndieGogo campaign, raising almost $2.5 million from 37,493 backers. That’s extraordinary for an independent low-budget film. Only about 10 percent of IndieGogo campaigns get fully funded, according to a study by The Verge. (And the average indie film costs $750,000 to make, cites a 2014 Cultural Weekly study.)

Yet “Lazer Team’s” shattered those statistics. People have and will pay to watch these four idiots’ immature antics on the big screen.  

And while it’s far from the greatest movie ever made, “Lazer Team’s” the kind of special effects bonanza that you expect from its galvanizing force — the YouTubers behind Red vs. Blue, Rooster Teeth and the Slow Mo Guys. 

If nothing else, you get to watch Gavin Free talk with an American accent briefly.

“Lazer Team” was directed by Matt Hullum, and written by Hullum, Bernie Burns, Chris Demarais, and Josh Flanagan.  



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