Who doesn’t love to watch an epic over-the-top musical proposal?
Certainly not Jodi Campbell — whose main man Dan popped the question after his flash mob serenaded her with classics like Rock of Age’s “Dancing on a Prayer,” Mama Mia’s “Dancing Queen” and Rent’s “Seasons of Love.”
And certainly not Amy — whose hubby Isaac planned a lip dub proposal, inviting 60-plus friends to lip-sync to Bruno Mars’ “Marry You.” Isaac’s proposal garnered more than 23 million YouTube views.
So if it worked for these couples, it would certainly work for Glee — Fox’s musical high school glee club dramedy known for its ridiculous and sometimes poignant musical numbers — right?
Glee’s fifth season kicks off with the inevitable proposal — the one Blaine (Darren Criss) had been planning to his on-again-off-again boyfriend Kurt (Chris Colfer) since the end of last season.
But another wedding isn’t going to revive a funeral.
Willy Shakespeare taught us that with his tragedy “Hamlet.”
“The funeral baked meats did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables,” said the wise Prince of Denmark.
And the fun-infused colors and mirth leaves a bad aftertaste — especially when the ghost of quarterback-turned-glee-coach Finn Hudson (Cory Monteith) roams the halls of McKinley High School.
Although Finn’s name is never mentioned in the Beatles-inspired season premiere “Love, Love, Love,” he’s there when Finn’s ex Rachel Berry (and Monteith’s real life girlfriend Lea Michele) sings her rendition of “Yesterday.”
“Why he/had to go/I don’t know/ he wouldn’t say,” Michele sang — a sentiment shared by fans of Monteith, who suddenly died this summer from a drug overdose.
After all, it seems like yesterday when Monteith sang opposite Michele in those signature show-stopping Glee regional numbers like “Don’t Stop Believin.’”
While we, Gleeks, may still believe in yesterday, the first of a two-part Beatles tribute is hard to swallow — starting from wheelchair-ridden glee star Artie (Kevin McHale) and head Cheerio Kitty’s (Becca Tobin) secret, sudden and improbable romance.
For one: their carnival rendezvous (where they sing “Drive My Car” in bumper cars and “You Got To Hide Your Love Away” while wandering the halls of McKinley) isn’t so secret — not when seven of McKinley High’s Glee Club serve as musical double dates and backup singers/dancers.
Two: Kitty, Sue Sylvester’s (Jane Lynch) cheerleading protégé who fed laxatives to fellow glee star Marley (Melissa Benoist) last season, is nauseatingly sweet without a discernible ulterior motive — which, if you’ve been following last season of Glee at all, is extremely out of character.
“Even though I know he’s getting ready to graduate and we’re just as doomed as every other sad, backward relationship that’s ever started in this Jesus- and love-forsaken choir room, I do like you, Artie,” Kitty says during a glee rehearsal.
Glee’s at its best when it’s a self-aware — like when school counselor Emma (Jayma Mays) says, “You kids have dated so incestuously that I can’t remember who can tolerate who anymore.”
Or when self-imposed Grinch Sue says, “At the risk of stepping out of character, I’ve brought donuts to calm everyone’s frayed nerves.”
The satire is there when Kurt tells Blaine that he’s “not sitting down and listening to you sing to me anymore.” Klaine fans will remember that their budding romance began when Blaine sang Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream.” (This time, Blaine sings “All You Need Is Love.”)
But as cute and sincere as Blaine’s proposal is, Glee’s become little more than washed-out melodramatic slush, filled with forced, far-fetched plotlines and as many musical numbers as possible.
And as much as we don’t want to stop believin’ (because the show does make us feel sometimes and we love Klaine), you have to wonder if Glee will ever stop being lukewarm slush or when the writers will recover from brain freeze. Meanwhile, we long for yesterday.
“Glee” was created in 2009 by Ian Brennan, Brad Falchuk and Ryan Murphy; and produced by Ryan Murphy Television. “Glee” airs on FOX at 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. central Thursdays. Season 5, episode 3 “The Quarterback,” which airs on Oct. 10, will be dedicated to Cory Monteith’s character Finn Hudson.